Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Not Guilty?


     Today my heart hurts. I have been following the Caylee Anthony story since it first broke in the news that this beautiful child was missing. For three years, I have watched this bizarre story unravel and take many, unexpected twists and turns. I sat, on my honeymoon, glued to the television each day at 8:00 p.m. to watch Nancy Grace, praying and waiting for the news that Caylee had been found alive. I cried buckets when they found her body. And today, I shed tears again for this beautiful soul, who has touched so many lives.

     Tonight, when the house was quiet, and everyone was in bed, I sat and watched Viviana sleep, and I wept for a very, very long time. I tried and tried to wrap my brain around what transpired for Caylee, but try as I might, I don't understand. The world may never know what happened to this beautiful, little girl, but there is someone who does. And in a few days time, this woman who was supposed to protect her from all that is evil in the world, may very well walk out of the jail and carry on with her life, while her two-year-old sits in an urn, frozen in time, on her grandparents' mantel. This beautiful child, who should still be with us, enjoying the summer and turning six, will now eternally be the toddler whose story stole my heart. How can I feel good about my child living in a world where things like this can happen?

     As I do not know what really happened to Caylee, I can't sit here and say that her mother is guilty of murder, or manslaughter, but to not be found guilty on child neglect at the very least? Mind boggling! I can tell you, without a shadow of a doubt, one thing that Caylee's mother is guilty of: she failed her child. It tears my heart apart to know that this child was dumped on the side of the road like trash. That this beautiful girl, who smiled in pictures and giggled on videos was silenced with duct tape across her mouth. Did she cry for her mother in her final moments? Was she alone? Was she scared? Was she in pain? As I look at my daughter, I know that I would do anything in the world to protect her. If anything ever happened to my precious angel, that would be the day that my world came crumbling down around me. I would not be partying. I would not be getting tattoos. And I certainly (regardless of the truth in yet another's of Casey's stories) would NOT be covering for anybody who may have been responsible for any kind of harm that might come to her.

     My heart aches for Caylee. I am so, very sorry to even know the name of this little girl who lived hundreds of miles away. For my knowing her name means that she was not just an ordinary girl, living out her life in another part of the country. But the lessons that I have learned from this beautiful child in regard to loving and mothering my precious gift are valuable beyond words.  I pray that Caylee is at peace, and somehow knows nothing of the chaos that occurred today, yet knows how many lives she has touched. The light that twinkles in those gorgeous eyes in the pictures that we see, now twinkles in the sky, making the night a bit brighter. Rest in Peace, sweet angel.

August 9, 2005-June 16, 2008

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