New York State of Mind at the Beacon Theatre

     Last night was certainly a magical night. It was one of those nights that makes me remember how much I love being a New Yorker. Alicia Keys was playing at the Beacon Theatre, one night only, and I managed to snag tickets (thank God for Stubhub). I have been an Alicia fan since day one, and back in my singing days, actually used the song "Fallin" to win a competition or two. That same album saw me through a horrible breakup, and gave me the strength to walk away from the relationship for good, after four years of back and forth. Since that first album was released, I have seen Alicia perform live six times, including last night. Each concert is better than the last.

    But last night was a game changer for me. There were no background singers. There was no band. It was just Alicia and her piano. The stage was decorated with candelabra, and the room looked absolutely breathtaking. There were points throughout the night when you could hear a pin drop in the theater. Each song brought new goosebumps. I experienced sheer bliss listening to the rawness of her voice and the piano. Sitting in that theater, listening to my idol and surrounded by thousands of people, I had a moment of clarity. I need music in my life. Regardless of the capacity in which it happens, whether it is singing to Vivi, doing karaoke, or pursuing some variant of a career, I need to sing. It is and always has been a part of me, down to my very soul, and when I am not singing, I feel the void. I will admit that I had been stifling my need for music, and as corny as it may sound, felt that fire re spark last night. Something that seems as frivolous as singing tends to take a back seat to being a mommy, keeping a clean house, and just everyday life.

     I realized in my epiphany last night that being a mommy does not mean completely surrendering who I am. There is a place for my personal needs in conjunction with all of the other "stuff" that seems to consume my life. So, I called up a friend, and made a karaoke date. Whether or not anything comes of my singing, I feel that I learned an invaluable lesson about motherhood. I cannot be a complete mother to my daughter if I lose a part of who I am. Having my needs met does not have to equate with neglecting her. Conversely, not being true to who I am will in fact lead to my daughter getting shortchanged of her mother. The lesson of the day led me to understand how our lives truly intertwine with one another. It is a lesson that I feel truly blessed to have discovered while my daughter is still very young. I can't wait for us to continue getting to know one another :)

A very small camera-phone view of Alicia, her piano, and her candelabra from our seats!