Rollin' with my homey

   Today was a day that was all about the babies. Vivi's best friend was getting baptised, and we were thrilled to be able to share in the celebration. I have known my best friend since freshman year in high school, which was fourteen years ago. We've been by each other's sides ever since. We were bridesmaids in each other's weddings. Her first child, two years old, is my godson. When I found out I was pregnant with Viviana, I was a little bit sad to have no one to share in the process with me. Five months later, my bff found out that she was expecting another baby! We were thrilled, and even more excited when she found out that a little girl was on the way.
 

And Baby Makes 3

     Three years ago, on the first day of summer, I married my best friend. Our wedding was gorgeous, celebrated with 200 of our closest friends and family. We had a beautiful Greek Orthodox ceremony, in honor of my husband's background. Afterwards, we threw quite the party. Every detail was planned to a T, as party planning is a favorite hobby of mine. There was no way my wedding wouldn't be meticulously planned and implemented. Here we are on that wonderful day.

     On our first anniversary, we renewed our vows in the Catholic church, a nod to my background, and went out to a beautiful dinner at Carmine's in Manhattan. Their portions are huge, served family-style, and we ended up eating leftovers for the next 3 days!! Our second anniversary was spent on the beach in Wildwood Crest, on the New Jersey shore. The trip was a combination anniversary/Father's Day/Babymoon trip. I was about 5 months pregnant, and we had recently found out that our raspbaby was in fact a girl. The stress of the school year ended two days before we left. The trip was exactly what we needed.

     This third anniversary of ours will have quite a different landscape. We will be a party of 3, dining at Tony Roma's. There will be no vows, no beachfront sunsets. Just myself, my husband, and our beautiful Viviana, celebrating three magical years, but our first as a family of three. The evening will be- in a word- perfection!

Three years later

Daddy's First Father's Day

     We had quite a successful first Father's Day. Despite the fact that my teething bundle of joy did not sleep one wink past 2 a.m. last night unless she was placed on my chest, we had a pancake breakfast, bright and early. I had forgotten what the sleepless nights are like, and taken my rest for granted once Vivi started sleeping through the night. It could be a sleep regression, or it could be the teeth that are threatening to make their appearance, but would rather torture my daughter for a bit longer than do so.
 

Love Bug. A Love Story

     As promised, today is the day that I share Vivi's story. All of my close friends and family know it, but until this point, I have never written it down. I would say that I don't like talking it, but everything that has happened has led to this point. Sometimes, you have to deal with some storms in order to get the rainbow. I can say with absolute certainty that every, single raindrop was worth it. Here goes:

     In February of 2010, during one of the horrible N.Y. snow storms, I woke up early to call into work (as a teacher) to see if we were closed for the day. As it ended up, we were, but I figured since I was awake already, I might as well take a pregnancy test, since it was officially accurate timing to test. Mind you, it was about 5 a.m. My husband and I had been trying for a few months, and I had just gotten used to the disappointment of the negative test each month. I tried to keep a positive outlook, as things had finally started to look up for our family. After being laid off for nearly a year, my husband had finally gained employment that fall, and thus, our journey to start a family began. I just knew that it had to happen for us soon. So, on that snowy morning, I took a test and finally saw the + I had been dying to see. Forgetting the time of day and the fact that my husband was in a dead sleep, I woke him up, jumping up and down, with the tears flowing (so much for my plan to tell him on Valentine's Day, if that month should be the month that I got my positive lol). Needless to say, we were absolutely blissful and in a bit of shock :) After work, I had hubby swing by the drugstore for more tests, just to be sure.

     Two months later, I was in tears yet again, because while I was elated over this new chapter in our lives, my husband found himself laid off for the second time in as many years. Marketing is a tough field, and one of the first to be cut when a company struggles in this economy. It was April, and I was due in October (on the 22nd). Our plan had always been for me to stay home and raise our children. Now suddenly we had this baby on the way, and our plans were slowly unraveling. Luxuries that we took for granted quickly had to be cut so that we could keep our heads above water on his unemployment and my small teacher's salary. No maternity pictures for us :(. We had to worry about how we were going to feed and clothe this baby.

     Fast forward to the summer. My husband, by August, was still unemployed, and my salary was due to end in September, as I was no longer a teacher at my school. We held a yard sale in late August to try to earn some money. It was very hot, and after two days on my feet, I was swollen!! My doctor had told me to give her a call if I should have any sudden swelling or a headache that wouldn't go away. After two days with the same headache, I decided to give her a call, and was sent to labor and delivery. At the hospital, they determined that my blood pressure was a bit elevated, and while it was not an emergency situation, I had to be monitored closely. My weekly appointments would begin a little earlier than customary.

     Two weeks later, I went to my weekly appointment for the routine blood pressure, protein, and weight check. It was September 15th. I was happy with the fact that I had a little over a month to go (I was 34 weeks, 5 days), and everything was in order. My plan was to go for my appointment, and then head to Babies R Us to exchange some things. In the office, my blood pressure and protein were high, and the doctor decided to send me to labor and delivery to be monitored for 24 hours, in case of pre eclampsia. So we headed to the hospital, and sat in the hallways of labor and delivery, as I listened to women in labor, screaming in pain (a very cruel joke for the hospital to play, by the way). I was brought into triage where I waited until there was a room set up for my 24 hour stay. Sometime between being set up in triage and brought to my room, my blood pressure sky rocketed, and what was supposed to be routine monitoring quickly turned into a serious situation. The nurse came in and said, "We need to induce, NOW." I burst into tears (and I am not a crier, at all). But it was too early! She needed to stay in there for another 5 weeks.

     Eighteen hours later, there was no progress (although there were sure as hell contractions) and my blood pressure was climbing still. We were going in for the emergency C-section, whether I liked it or not. Gone was my plan for the unmedicated birth. At 5:09 p.m. on September 16th, 2010, Viviana Melina  was born, shown to me, and whisked out of the room to NICU. She was exactly 4 lbs and 17 inches, and she was tiny. I was brought to recovery, and outside there was a tornado that destroyed a few homes in my neighborhood. I am told that I was yelling at my husband to call the neighbor or run home and check on our dog, Amos. Even in my drugged up state, I was terrified that he wasn't okay. Two days later, my blood pressure was still elevated, and the only reason that I was not admitted to cardiac ICU was that I wouldn't be able to see my daughter. My husband bribed the nurses to bring the baby to me (a platter of cookies goes a long way). My daughter was 2 days old, and I hadn't met her yet. She was in her ICU, and I was in the L&D version of mine. They did not send me to the postpartum wing where all of the other new mothers were cuddling their newborns. In hindsight, after seeing pictures of those first hours, it is probably better that I did not see her right away. She had tons of wires, and a CPAP (breathing) machine. It would have put me over the edge.

     Four days after having Viviana, I left the hospital, empty handed. My daughter went on to stay in NICU for two weeks. In my entire life, I have never felt like my heart was literally being ripped out of my chest until I had to go home every night, for two weeks, and leave my child in the hospital. The nurses were good, but they weren't Mommy. I felt I had failed her.

Poor little munchkin with all of her wires :(

Snuggled tight in her incubator

Being fed in the NICU. We started out with just a teaspoon of food at a time.

    To conclude my epic, all of our combined medical bills were staggering. Even with insurance, the out-of-pocket cost to us was a huge hit to our already-hurting finances. Luckily, my husband had secured employment, but was not due to start working until November 1st. His presence was a blessing to me, as I truly don't know how I would have gone through all of this alone, but my income was gone, and we were still trying to survive off of savings and his unemployment check. It has taken some time to recover from almost 2 years of his unemployment, all of the medical bills, and now the loss of my income, but things are starting to look up. Our daughter is 9 months old and absolutely thriving (thank God). You would never know she is a preemie. We are so blessed to have this miracle in our lives, even if it has been a bumpy road. I would do it ten times over to have the honor of being Vivi's Mommy.

My big girl!

Well, look who it is!

     I am so excited to finally be blogging! I have thought about it for awhile, but could never decide what I wanted my blog topic to be. I love to write, so I knew that inevitably I would have to choose something. I make a lot of cakes, cupcakes, and other goodies, so thought about a baking blog for a little while. But, I don't really have much to say about baking in general. Then, I thought about making a cooking blog, but realized that most of the good stuff that I cook comes from other blogs. Then, I started thinking about all of the crafty plans that I have for my daughter's upcoming first birthday, and it hit me!

     I am one of those people who likes to dabble a little bit in everything, but for the first time, I am doing it as a mom! My daughter (born in September, 2010) was never around before when I would bake cupcakes for my former students, or cover a cake in fondant as a favor to a friend. For the first time, I am doing all of this stuff with baby in tow, rather than in my spare time, which other mommies are well aware, no longer exists. (The teacher in me really wants to correct that run-on sentence that I just created, but I digress).

     One thing that I have found since becoming a mommy is that I love to talk about my daughter, and all of the new things I discover about her each day. I know that at times, I do it to a fault. So, I figured that I will pass along what I learn to other moms, and hopefully gain an interested audience. My friends and family love Vivi to pieces, but I am sure that after awhile, all of my incessant chatter may sound like background noise. What can I say, I am one proud mama. It is our nature to want to brag, and talk about our children, and how wonderful it is to have them. When I brought little Miss Vivi into this world, I consciously made the decision to forever have a piece of my heart walking around outside of my body.

     So this blog is my tribute to her, and to the daily path that we follow together. Another day, I will tell her story, and the drama with which she entered this world. But for now, I will leave this post as my "hello and welcome."